Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Bad Day? Need an Ego Boost?

I have the perfect solution to dissolve bad days. When you're kicked to the curb and feeling down and out, I've got one thing for you to do. And it's SO simple...

Read the obits.

Yes, you read that correctly. Find a good obituary (which isn't hard because who writes bad things about dead people?), insert your name to replace the deceased, and finally change the past tenses to present. And there you go! So simple! A quick and easy non-prescription upper, powerful enough to brighten anyone's dull-gray life! Here's an example:


"Scott Van Atta is one of the funniest, most self-effacing, chutzpah-charged, and big-hearted human beings anyone could ever hope to encounter. To meet him is always an historical event, one you would remember for the rest of your life. Scott is essential. Scott is vital. He is a forceful and generous (and forcefully generous) presence. He is the magnetic core around which a lot of people swirl, and as such he is a facilitator of relationships and possibilities of all sorts. Many of us are connected, through him, to a community that he created, continues to create, and maintains; he makes life feel cozy, small, family-like, even for people who live 3,000 miles apart. With his energetic pragmatism, he commands the chaotic, nonsensical world to work better, and it does, or at least it seems to, when he's around."